I thought that putting up with the restless energy in my 1 year old son was something worth writing about. And in fact, I did write about here as we tried one screen free activity after the other.
But nobody warned us of the terrible twos until they arrived. So the thing is, my son is still not fully verbal. He knows a few things and will point them out or say them.
For example when he wants tea, he will say ‘chai mum‘ as he proceeds to open the kitchen door or pick a cup from the utensils rack. He will also say ‘chakula‘ to mean that he is hungry and wants food.
Or ‘bus‘ when he is referring to his toy car. But then, there are times when he gets frusstrated since he lacks the words to express himself.
He will say incomprehensible mumbo jumbo in expectation that we get what he wants. And when we fail to do so, which we fail often, he will throw one big tantrum after the other. He will wail, whine, cry uncontrollably, fall on the ground and just refuse to be comforted.
And that is when it dawns on us what we are dealing with. Terrible twos!
I won’t pretend we’ve solved it. But a few things have made a real, repeatable difference:
1. Tiring outdoor play, on purpose.
We’re not just letting him run around — we’re using it. A properly tired toddler naps easier and melts down less in the hours before that nap. Outdoor games that get his whole body moving do more for his mood than almost anything else we’ve tried. I will for example get him to play ball outside, ride an old tire or just take him on a car drive.
2. Cutting back on sugar.
This one came from Mummy on purpose, and she was right. Less sugar in his diet has meant fewer of those sharp mood swings that seem to come out of nowhere. It’s not a magic fix, but it’s a noticeable one.
3. Getting down to his level — literally.
When he’s frustrated and we can’t understand him, the thing that helps most isn’t asking him to explain more. It’s getting down to his eye level, vertically, so we’re looking right at each other, and asking calmly what he wants. Half the time he’ll point. That small shift — from talking down at him to talking level with him — changes the whole interaction.
4. The same three songs, every time.
We have about three tunes I’ve been singing to him since he was a small toddler. When things start to unravel, singing or dancing to one of them is often the fastest way out of a spiral. It’s familiar, it’s ours, and it seems to reach him even when words — his or mine — aren’t working.
If You’re in It Right Now
If you’re also parenting a toddler who’s brimming with things to say and doesn’t yet have the words for all of them, I see you. The tantrums aren’t really about defiance most of the time — they’re about a communication gap neither of you chose. Tire him out, watch the sugar, get down to his level, and find your songs. It won’t erase the terrible twos. But it makes the days a lot more livable.